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Submitted on
July 31, 2013


7 (who?)

We interrupt your regularly scheduled propaganda to bring you a public service announcement from your oppressive rulers: The Irken Empire!

Greetings, superior Irkens who may be listening and/or inferior slaves who may be listening (in which case - GET BACK TO WORK!); this is your spokesperson of the Irken Empire, here to give you a quick reminder on our policies.

Since we are the superior race in the grand scheme of all things in the universe, it only makes sense that we, the Irkens, are the ones most important in the Irken Empire. You can easily identify your superior overlords by:

1. Our green skin! We do not have any other colors of skin, just varying shades of lime green and green.

2. Our strict dress code! We mean business, so we dress for business here at the Irken Empire.

Now that we've got that out of the way, let's talk about the different tasks in our glorious regime. First of all, let's start with Defectives.

You'll notice that defectives are not technically Irkens, as they are corrupted and just plain stupid. They will have bland, everyday Irken Military Uniforms and may look "different" from other Irkens. We strongly advise that, if you see any defectives - identifiable by their head stamp and inferior genetic/data-based flaws such as an hour-glass type figure, mutli-colored or odd-colored antennae, or mis-matched eyes (one pink and another red, for instance) - please inform a superior at once or, if you are that superior, promptly drag the little mongrels kicking and screaming back to where they belong... or just shoot 'em in the face! They're replaceable in the snack-slave industry, after all.

Next up on the hierarchy of the best species in the universe - we have your service drones and snack slaves. Assuming that they aren't snack slaves or service drones because of being defective, they can be identified by their short stature and task-specific, mass produced uniforms, such as this one and this one. Janitorial drones and maintenance crews fall under these categories as well. Remember: even though they are among the lowest tiers of the Irken Empire, their grease stains are more important than you.

Speaking of importance, if we move up on our list of Irken Empire superiority, we have the security Irkens. These soldiers are here to keep you in line and make sure you aren't exercising idiocy in any way, shape, or form. Also, some have pointy zapping rod things which are fun to poke foolish slaves with.

Next up to be identified are the Irken Military Scientists who, unfortunately, tend to have inferior life forms thrown into their midst. That's okay, though, seeing as we here at the Irken Empire do believe in equality of species; each species that is non-Irken is equally likely to be beaten into utter submission.

Following the logical chain of command, we then have the Irken pilots and navigators. These taller soldiers are what keeps the Armada going... well, that and 2,000+ weeping species' slave labors. These guys are divided into three groups: The Main Force, which surrounds the Massive, the Secondary Force, which is usually busy blowing up planets somewhere else when the Massive can't be present, and the Planetary Conversion Team, which converts conquered planets into various useful things for our glorious regime, fixing the mistakes made by the foolish local species who formerly resided on them.

Even further up, we have a wide variety of Irken Elite soldiers, each with their own unique tasks and, therefore, unique uniforms symbolizing their job. This elite is an example of one who is about to graduate from the academy on Devasits. Notice the official Irken Elite gear she has on.

Of course, then we have the genetically gifted Irkens. These are the Tallest and their Advisers.

The Tallest's Advisers have been selected due to a specific amount of skill their PAKs contain. Since they are superior, it is only fitting that their PAKs be relocated to the front of their chest and injected with growth hormones to make them taller than all others (apart from the Tallest, of course). Their job is to advise their leaders, the Tallest, on what would be good and bad ideas. For instance, "Sir... it may not be the best idea to stick your tongue out the airlock, even though it 'feels funny,' since that would mean the vacuum of space is trying to rip your taste organ out of its socket." Little things like that make life easier for the Tallest.

Higher then them (literally and figuratively) we have the Tallest. Usually there is only one, but our current regime rulers happen to be the exact same height, so we went with both of them. Tallest, even from a young age, can be easily identified due to their special, segmented body-types. This gets more noticeable as they grow to maturity. I mean, really. It would take a complete idiot not to know who in the empire is going to be a Tallest one day. That's how obvious it is.

The other Irkens with "Tallest" body types who actually aren't taller than the current Tallest are taken to an undisclosed location full of snacks and stuff, to keep 'em happy while they're waiting in line for the current leaders to expire stop being leaders.

Finally, on top of our Irken hierarchy, we have the Control Brains. There is one per planet (at least) and each one has a specific job, but all are superior to every Irken (even the Tallest must bow before them... or just, y'know, obey orders under penalty of death). There are basically two types of control brains: Control Brains, the normal types, and Judge Control Brains, whose job is to weed you out like the Defective you are and deal out your proper punishment.

Although there have been rumors of a Master Control Brain, whose existence is kept hidden from all but the Tallest, he we would like to say that █████ ██ ████ these ███████ ████ █ ██████ rumors ██████ █ ██████████ ███ █ ███ ████ are ███████ █ ██████████ ██████ false. ██████ ██████ ███████ so ████ ███ ███████ stop █████ ██████████ asking █████ █ ████ █ █████ about ███████ ███ ██ ██████ it and █████ ████████████ █ o██ bey █████████ the ███ empire.

This concludes our special announcement! Remember: non-standard clothing, body types, and emotions are punishable by death or Defective-related reprimands. All Irkens guilty of any of these crimes will see a Judge Control Brain swiftly. NOW GET BACK TO WORK!

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Numbuh5335 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2014  Student Digital Artist
invader gabbe reporting for duty SIR
InvaderLez Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You just explained the whole Irken hierarchy, while staying completely canon.

THIS IS AWESOMEEESEE. :iconcannotevenplz:
IZTheDoomMovie Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Hahahaha!!! :XD: Thanks. :D
iamaninsomniac Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013
I am a person who loves Irken propaganda!
But, if Red and Purple weren't the tallest, they would DEFINITELY be defectives.
Also, I get a strange feeling that the messages about the Master Control Brain are a bunch of LIIIEEES!! But what do I know? :)
IZTheDoomMovie Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
:XD: Yeah, Red and Purple are a bunch of knuckleheads.

As for that Master Control Brain thing, I █ █ █ █ █ █ █.
iamaninsomniac Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
Completely understand that!
Cocolox Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Student General Artist
pff, this is awesome
IZTheDoomMovie Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
:XD: Thanks. :)
Cocolox Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Student General Artist
you're welcome!~
kimisakumo Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
"This is the Irken Coup D'etat Forces. We shall destroy your invaders and liberates all invaded planets. We will fight no matter what happens. We shall make the Tallests panic while were ready to launch our nuclear missiles and our other super weapons. We will carry out a new creation of destruction with the power of righteousness. Territories,peoples,authorities all will be liberated. This is the new state 'THE WORLD WITH NO BOUNDARIES' were create. In the nation, our nationalities have meaning, we will erase this unnecessary borders.' THE WORLD WITH NO BOUNDARIES' will pen a new story. The world will change...."

Well, that's what I always think that Irken defectors leader like my OC, Natasha,she is the anti-Irken force, the Irken Coup D'etat Forces's leader would say as she have the revenge to the Tallests for killing her parents when she was a smeet.
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